State of mind
by RAVENownsALL
Summary: Terra agrees to return to the TT but she no longer has control of her powers Raven agrees to help her, but when Terra and Raven get sucked into her mind and can't get out, as secret reveals itself that Raven thought she had hidden for good. no couples
1. Introduction

"…They are my family! This is my home! And you are not welcome here!

Azarath Metrion Zinthos!" Raven felt her body explode with power. She felt a part of her fade away, it wasn't necessarily a feeling that she liked. She closed her eyes and concentrated. She could feel the world around her returning to normal.

The skies regained there deep blue shade

Buildings that were wrecked and hunched down, gained back there tall elegance

Life was given.

Time was no longer still

And stone was returned to flesh.


	2. Discovery in the screen room

**OK, whether you realize it or not, the introduction is very important for reasons you may not think. And for all you out there who did not get it, let me just say the Terra was made of stone. Does it make sense now? Anyways, i know i should have gone straight into the story but i wanted them discover first that the girl was really Terra. And for those of you who will check things change clip after you read your story, let me say it is a waste of time, because they don't even show her hands. Okay well enjoy part one.**

**And as a special guest, I would like my best friend Allegra to say the disclaimer.**

**Allegra: What?**

** Me: Say it or die!**

**Allegra: Fine! Adrianne doesn't own... uh... whats the show called?**

**Me: Strangles Allegra**

**Allegra: kicks me in the shin  
**

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On every intersection was a camera. Robin thought that it would be a good idea to keep a close eye on the city so they could spring into action more quickly. Twice a day were these monitors checked in the screen room. Raven thought the cameras served no purpose but still respected the fact that it was her turn.

She walked lazily in and plunked down on a chair. She examined the monitors carefully, everything seemed to be going just fine, but that didn't excuse her. It was part of the system that they had to stay there at least fifteen minutes. She yawned out of boredom and began to slump back down in her chair. Her foot hit something hard. Raven went under and picked it up. It was a tape, with a note on it.

_Robin, please throw this tape away._

_-Beastboy_

What does Beastboy care if tapes are thrown away or not? She asked herself. Her body became struck curiosity. She looked around the room as if someone was going to pop out from the walls. She stuck the tape in to one of the monitors and pressed play. She heard faint voices coming from the screen.

"_Maybe your friend is out there somewhere, I hope you find her." _Raven stared at the screen in awe, she really did look like Terra. By then Beastboy had told his friends about her loss of memory and powers.

"_I already have."_

"_Beastboy…"_

"_Come on, you've got to remember. Something? Anything?" Terra shook her head at the question. _Raven could feel the hurt in Beastboy. This must be why he wanted Robin to throw the tape away, he didn't want to be reminded of her anymore. Raven kept watching.

There was a long silence on the tape. Raven watched as Beastboy picked up a ball of mud. 'What is he doing?' Raven thought.

"_You can move the earth!"_

He wouldn't.

_Beastboy threw the mud ball at Terra, hoping she would catch it with her powers._

He would, Beastboy you idiot!

Something caught Raven's eye on the tape though. Hmmm…

Raven rewound the tape again. She couldn't believe her eyes. She rewound and froze the tape. Raven gasped.

"Oh. My. God." She covered her mouth with one hand and picked up the intercom speaker phone with the other.

"Guys! Come to the screen room now!! Especially you Beastboy!!!" Her heart was beating. If she was, in fact, correct, who knew what this meant.

"What the problem?" Robin ran into the room followed by the others, Beastboy had a curious look on his face.

"Beastboy, how long ago was it when you saw that girl who looked like Terra?" Beastboy's heart sank, and the other titans looked at her very confused.

"I don't know, maybe, two weeks ago." He was obviously depressed. "What's this all about Raven." His voice grew a little edgier.

"You are not going to believe this!" Raven's voice wasn't happy, it was shocked. She just couldn't believe it. She clicked the play button again and showed the clips of Beastboy and Terra.

"Hey how did you get that tape?"

"You'll thank me later." Raven waited for the moment that Beastboy had thrown the ball of mud at Terra then froze it while it was in mid flight.

"Look carefully" Raven instructed towards the paused screen.

"What are we supposed to be looking at?"

"Look at her hands" she replied to the boy wonder. Terra's hands were to her side, she was trying with all her might not to move them and take the orb of filth heading her way. But her hands, they were… glowing! Yellow, the color of her power! Only for a second though. Beastboy stared in awe, and everyone else looked at him. He ran out of the room grabbing some prints of the picture.

"Beastboy! Where are you going?"

"To find Terra!"

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**When people review it makes me happy!**


	3. Help

**After basicaly these three intro chapters we finally get into the meat of the story. So if it seems a little slow, it is, but the next chapters are interesting (at least I like to think so). So please review and keep reading **

**Isn't it kind of obvious, I don't own Teen Titans, grrrrrr**

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Beastboy had a slight glare on his face; he was running toward the school ready to burst. He stood in the middle of the hallway, just waiting; the pictures were still in his hand. The bell ring and a flood of students came out into the hallway. Beastboy didn't budge. After a few minutes he spotted her.

Terra looked up from her locker to see Beastboy standing there with a glare. Her eyes widened and she waited for the rest of the students to return to their classrooms. Beastboy and Terra looked at each other from across the hall. She closed her locker and came toward him.

"I thought I told you not to bug me anymore! You have got the wrong girl!" Terra's voice was shaky, but firm none the less.

"Stop lying to me Terra! I know it's you!"

"What?"

"We were your friends Terra! Why did you lie to me! You had a perfectly good life with the titans!" Beastboy's voice rose

"I don't know what you are talking about!" Terra snapped back.

"Really?" Beastboy said throwing the pictures to the ground.

Terra knelt down and picked up the pieces of paper. She began glancing over them with a wide eyed look.

"If you don't remember, if you don't have any powers, if you were never a titan, then why are your hands glowing?" Beastboy didn't know if he was hurt, angry or happy.

"Beastboy, I-"

"You lied to me Terra! And all I want to know is why! Why didn't you come back?"

"I don't belong with you! I don't belong with the teen titans! I'm not a hero, I certainly proved that three years ago! I don't ft with you anymore; it would just be better, if I stayed here and blended in!"

"No it wouldn't! You are a hero; you are my friend, OUR friend!"

"You don't understand! I'd feel like a total outcast, a traitor! Because that's what I am! I'm a traitor who completely turned my back on perfectly good friends!"

"And then saved us in the end!" Beastboy's voice was a little calmer. He began to walk over to Terra. Her head was hung in shame.

"I can't control my powers anymore Beastboy." She said without even looking up.

"We can help you."

"Why would you want to? After, after what I did." A single tear dropped from her cheek. Her voice was in a faint whisper and Beastboy almost didn't hear her.

"Terra, come back with me, you were our friend you died, kind of, for us. That's a true friend."

"But-" she was cut off by her own sobs. She began to cry and Beastboy pulled her into a hug. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." She kept repeating over and over.

"Oh, Terra." He said so happy she was back.

TTTTTTTTTTTTT

"No Beastboy I can't" Terra said basically terrified of the tower that stood so boldly in front of her.

"Yes you can, come on, it's been three years, and they'll be thrilled to see you again." Beastboy said reassuringly. Terra looked up at the tower again. And before she could respond Beastboy scooped her into the tower red speed ahead. Even though the rooms were flashing past her she was happy to be in this atmosphere again. Beastboy finally stopped in front of the main room. Terra wanted to cry, she looked at it with fear and anxiety. Beastboy could sense her nervousness so he reached over and grabbed her hand, which made her feel only slightly better.

"I don't know if I can."

"It doesn't matter anymore because you are." He opened the door and she nearly fainted. They were all in there. Tears began to flow down her face, she was so happy to be back here, but were expecting them to all come up and attack her. The four didn't even notice at first. Raven was the first to notice, however. She looked up and dropped her book which revealed her gaping mouth. She didn't say anything; she stared at Terra, which made Terra very uncomfortable and slightly scared. The last thing Raven said to her was a death threat. Slowly all the titans looked in her direction, stopping what they were doing. It was silent in the room for a good ten minutes. On many separate occasions, Terra felt like running, but she had to know what they thought of her now that she was back.

"T-Terra?" Raven finally stuttered.

"Listen, I know what you're all thinking, I'm a horrible wretched person who doesn't deserve to even be here right now! I wouldn't object if you killed me right now! I shouldn't be here! I'm sorry!" Terra ran out the door down the stairs and almost made it to the door if it weren't for Starfire which made her stop dead in her tracks. Starfire's eyes were glowing green and she was glaring at Terra.

"Your final words to me were 'you always were easy to fool'. I will not allow you to escape again." Starfire's hands were now glowing and Terra braced herself for what was about to come. By now the titans were watching, scared half to death of their friend as she leaped forward and pulled Terra into the tightest hug she had ever given. Terra could barely breathe but was still happy, and confused.

"S-s-star?"

"Terra! It is most glorious to see you again!!" Starfire said cheerfully as she tightened her grip.

"You're not mad?"

"You sacrificed your life for us, and the town." Cyborg stated walking forward with a grin.

"You attacked Slade and won!" Robin added.

"We always knew you were pure at heart." Starfire said still not letting go.

"So, you're really not mad?"

"I told you!" Beastboy exclaimed excitedly. Raven just walked out of the room as she pulled her hood up. No one seemed to notice except Terra who looked pretty upset by it.

"If anything Terra, we're glad to have you back on the team." Robin said handing her a communicator as Starfire finally released her. They heard a few things crash up stairs as she took it from him. She began to cry as a smile spread across her face.

'"Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" She screamed hugging each friend. It was so good to see them, and for Terra it was almost too good to be true, then she remembered, it was too good. "Wait! You guys should know, when I was stone it didn't really give me an opportunity to train. When I was freed… I found that I could no longer control my powers."

"We can help you!" Beastboy said excitedly.

"Really?"

"Sure." Robin said reassuringly.

"Raven goes through the same thing maybe she could help you." As Cyborg spoke they heard even more crashes from upstairs. "It may take a little convincing though." He said to a fear stricken Terra.

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It had been a week since Terra re-joined the titans and everyone had welcomed her back with eager faces, all but one. Terra rocked back in forth on her heals as she thought about the past event. 'Raven hasn't come out of her room for 3 days.' She thought, 'and I know it has something to do with me.' At least she was being upfront about her feelings. All the titans had put on big smiles when she walked through the door, but there was still that glimmer of distrust in her eyes. All the small things, none of them would leave her alone in the control room, the gym, garage, evidence room, even the main room she found herself being watched. Only Beastboy had given her full trust and she was grateful, and he scoffed at the others when they mad slight slips in conversation that made Terra want to crawl up and die. Cyborg wouldn't trust her with the security system either.

"It's a new system, it doesn't have a code, it knows our handprint is all." And when she asked if she could have her handprint inserted he came up with excuses like "not right now we're going to watch a movie." "I'm going to Titans East for a while" I need to make adjustments to the car." What hurt the most was when she saw the security system had not been changed in anyway since the last time she had been here. It was official; Terra was labeled "the traitor." This is exactly why she didn't want to come back; her worst nightmare was coming true. The only reason she stayed was that she could finally learn how to use her powers in the proper way, train and be merry, but of course training sessions were held secretly and only one titan went a time and usually at night. Terra would watch through her window and sigh.

At first she completely disregarded Cyborg's suggestion to have Raven help her, but it was obvious she wasn't going to get any help from her "friends." So she found herself right in front of Raven's door, still completely terrified. She had to force herself to knock on her door, and she had to make herself not run away when she heard foot steps. The door swooshed open and Terra gave a wide nervous smile.

"What do you want?" Raven asked coldly sending shivers up and down Terra's spine and knots in her throat.

"Well… Raven I was wondering if… maybe… uh…" Terra rubbed the back of her neck and laughed nervously. This went on for about a minute until Raven lost her patience.

"I don't have time for this." She said slamming the door.

"Wait! Raven! I need you to train me!" There was a silence between her and the door until it finally opened.

"Why me?"

"Well, you have to meditate every day just to keep your powers under control, you seem to know and master your powers with ease. I need to learn that, so… so nobody gets hurt again." She looked down and a slight tear escaped her fragile face. Raven didn't show it, but she felt sorry for Terra.

Raven was still angry, still frustrated with the whole ordeal even if it was a long time ago. Obviously, the other titans were too, they were just mature enough to accept Terra again. Raven didn't feel like she was being immature, she just felt a rush of anger every time she thought of Terra and had to go to her room to keep herself under control. The odd thing was, as some of the titans were nice and gentle but did not trust her, Raven trusted Terra completely. She was mad of course, but she could sense feelings, she could read minds, she was an empath. All she felt when she was around Terra was regret and sadness. She was truly sorry and to be really technical, she did die for them, a little detail every one seemed to forget. So as Raven looked down at Terra she couldn't help but feel pity. She stared at her for a long time. Terra seemed to lose hope and began to walk away when she felt a hand on her shoulder.

"I'll help you."

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